Sarah Palin Will Shoot You In the Face!

Yes! The Gods of the Internet have provided yet another snarky political website featuring one-liners about political candidates, but this time, it's SARAH PALIN! Yay!

Sarah Palin Will Shoot You in the Face is like its predecessors Barack Obama Is Your New Bicycle and the apparently now defunct Hillary Is Mom Jeans, in that perusers click on alternating sentences about the politicians' characters. Users submit their own sentences, but only those that fit the general theme of the website are added. Generally the theme is: Hillary=Bad, Obama=Good, but the sentences are all about subtley annoying or nice things; generally they avoid statements like, "HILLARY MURDERED YOUR MOTHER".

However, Sarah Palin's site has shaken things up a bit. Did you know that Sarah Palin bedazzles her wranglers? Or that she uses Todd as her bitch? She also makes fun of her grandmother when she's not around and wants you to wear a purity ring.

Clearly I've spent the past two hours submitting little insightful gems...

Click and enjoy, dear Internet!

Meanwhile, I'll sit and ruminate over the fact that Sarah Palin looks like my biggest girl crush, my beloved, my precious Tina Fey...

See?? Watch the skit here, while I go cry about the fact that I'll never be able to watch 30 Rock with the same level of devotion!

Sarah Palin's hair gets more press than her experience or platform.

She had the feathers even on the court!

She shoots animals from planes. ANIMALS! From AIRPLANES! Then she WEARS them! And she hates polar bears! AHH!


The Omnivore's Hundred

Very Good Taste has compiled a list of 100 foods that every omnivore should try just once. While veggies are more my style these days, I have had exposure to many an exotic food due to my father's unusual gastronomic creations.

Here's the deal:
I have tasted items in bold.
I won't try items that I've crossed out.

Behold, dear readers, Sioux's foray into the wild world of eating with:
The VGT Omnivore’s Hundred

1. Venison
Yes. I ate bambi. Yes. I still cry about it sometimes.
2. Nettle tea
3. Huevos rancheros
4. Steak tartare
5. Crocodile
If you want each bite of your meal to take between 6 and 8 minutes to chew, I recommend Crocodile.
6. Black pudding
My family calls this dish blueclub, and from what I understand it is basically a giant cow scab.
7. Cheese fondue
8. Carp
9. Borscht
10. Baba ghanoush
11. Calamari
12. Pho
13. PB&J sandwich
14. Aloo gobi
15. Hot dog from a street cart
16. Epoisses
17. Black truffle
18. Fruit wine made from something other than grapes
Word to the wise: Don't try homemade plum wine.
19. Steamed pork buns
20. Pistachio ice cream
21. Heirloom tomatoes
22. Fresh wild berries
23. Foie gras
24. Rice and beans
25. Brawn, or head cheese
26. Raw Scotch Bonnet pepper
This one was obviously a mistake.
27. Dulce de leche
28. Oysters
29. Baklava
30. Bagna cauda
31. Wasabi peas
32. Clam chowder in a sourdough bowl
33. Salted lassi
34. Sauerkraut
35. Root beer float
36. Cognac with a fat cigar
I've had cognac and I've smoked cigars, but never AT THE SAME TIME. I think that would be a class overload in my system. I'd probably shit diamonds.
37. Clotted cream tea
38. Vodka jelly/Jell-O
39. Gumbo
40. Oxtail
41. Curried goat
I remember goat being surprisingly delicious back in my meat eating days.
42. Whole insects
43. Phaal
44. Goat’s milk
45. Malt whisky from a bottle worth £60/$120 or more
HOW I WISH! I suppose a girl can dream...
46. Fugu
47. Chicken tikka masala
48. Eel
My Dad had a weird foods birthday party and someone gave him an eel in a bag. It smelled like rotten potatoes and tasted worse when he got around to actually cooking it. Let me tell you, some novelty foods should be left as NOVELTIES!
49. Krispy Kreme original glazed doughnut
50. Sea urchin
51. Prickly pear
52. Umeboshi
53. Abalone
54. Paneer
55. McDonald’s Big Mac Meal
56. Spaetzle
57. Dirty gin martini
58. Beer above 8% ABV
59. Poutine
60. Carob chips
61. S’mores
62. Sweetbreads
63. Kaolin
64. Currywurst
65. Durian
66. Frogs’ legs
67. Beignets, churros, elephant ears or funnel cake
I must say that Very Good Taste does not distinguish between the subtleties of fried dough very well. A beignet is a much different creature than a churro! A funnel cake should comprise its own category!
68. Haggis
69. Fried plantain
70. Chitterlings, or andouillette
71. Gazpacho
72. Caviar and blini
73. Louche absinthe
74. Gjetost, or brunost
75. Roadkill
I suppose one should never say never, but sweet Haysoos, if I ever eat Roadkill someone should write a book about my life's hardships and then turn it into a major motion picture staring Thora Birch. I didn't just date myself through the Thora Birch reference, did I?
76. Baijiu
77. Hostess Fruit Pie
78. Snail
79. Lapsang souchong
This smokey, bold tea is especially good during cold winters. I tend to like my foods savory rather than sweet, and this tea really encapsulates that aspect of taste.
80. Bellini
81. Tom yum
82. Eggs Benedict
83. Pocky
I love watching the geeks at That's Entertainment much on Pocky while playing Dungeons and Dragons when I pick up my Buffy comics.
84. Tasting menu at a three-Michelin-star restaurant.
85. Kobe beef
86. Hare
87. Goulash
88. Flowers
89. Horse
90. Criollo chocolate
91. Spam
Don't judge. Spam-o-rama's fucking cool.
92. Soft shell crab
93. Rose harissa
94. Catfish
95. Mole poblano
96. Bagel and lox
97. Lobster Thermidor
98. Polenta
99. Jamaican Blue Mountain coffee
100. Snake
Sometimes the Alamo Drafthouse pairs weird documentaries with weird food. More often than not, the weird documentaries are about food, and my entire family attended the screening of some Rattlesnake capturing documentary and ate chicken-fried Rattlesnake and drank plenty of Lonestars (well, I was probably 17, so my siblings handed them to me discretely, though I'm sure my rapid chugging of them was pretty conspicuous to my parents).


US Media Ignores Suspect, but Horrifying Iraq War Story

Sixteen troops were successful.
Five failed.

21 troops from the one division attempted mass suicide via heavy narcotics inside an Iraq military base. The reasons are unknown, but some speculate the division was responsible for a massacre of families in Northern Iraq--probably Haditha

Aside from the appalling and tragic nature of that news, I'm absolutely shocked that this happened 27 days ago!

The main news source is Iranian based off of Iraqi military information, so it could be propaganda, but I'm also not sure how the US military deals with news like this. I know the media here can't show pictures of coffins, but would they also censor a tragedy like this? Just because a URL ends with .ir should we assume it's false news? Are we to believe news stories are untrue because they are not delivered by mainstream American news outlets?

I don't know.

Here are some links:

Wake Up From Your Slumber

Debates concerning the report's authenticity:
Military.com Forum
Above Top Secret Forum
Yahoo Answers


The thrills of a lifestyle...

You know, I used to get some sort of thrill when telling others of how I spent my time when I still attended college. Just saying that you're attending a small, private, liberal arts college in New England feels good. Saying that you're studying Geography--even when people have no idea what that entails--makes you feel interesting, like you know an entire wealth of really important and pertinent things about the world that no one else knows. Geographers: gate-keepers of information more people should know!

You know what's not thrilling? Telling others that you are unemployed and live with your parents and your insane cat. Even when one throws in extra information, like you used to study Geography at a small liberal arts college in New England, it doesn't help your case. At this point, you just seem pathetic for not fulfilling all the potential of your sincerely awesome education (and seriously, it was awesome--I got to ride mechanical bulls in the cafeteria, eat lots of cereal, and go on field trips to NYC).

Although blogging this felt awesome, I should probably go finish my cover letter for the energetic sign waving position listed on craigslist...